Enigma (Poem) by @NamelessHeller

Sometimes I sit down and contemplate//
About my life and how I’m destined to fail//
And the route I’m destined to take is pale//
Raised by a single mother all I had back then was her faith/
With a sub-conscious of a serpent snake, I’m destined to have a tormented fate//
20 years old and the hate I have for my father is Juxtapose to an atheist’s view of the holy-grail//
With scars that could narrate a tell all tale//
The pain inflicted in my veins can’t even compare to a wolf that drinks wolf spane cause its deranged by all the killing it’s made//
Suicidal thoughts at the age of eighteen-/-leading me to overdose on caffeine because I always saw death in my dreams//
The only thing making me sane is the ‘green’//
As it gets rid of the smokescreen in my life!!//
Maybe I need a guide to help me differentiate between good and wrong//
“USE A SWITCHBLADE AND TAKE YOUR LIFE!’ is the chorus playing in my head like a fucken looped song!!/
Maybe I should listen to the chorus cause my heart is raw//
With a life full of flaws maybe I should use that switchblade and cut my hands off//
Cause the life I’m living is a mystery that even a private investigator can’t solve//
I instigate violence without thinking about the consequence, life is too short to think about how I shall fall//
Or should I create a movement like ISIS and cut all my enemies heads off!!!!!//
Nope!!…that’s just the rage talking*red eyes!*, I’m sweating with a temper of a phantom//
I quit cigarettes even though they used to nullify the pain, now my whole life is based on a story like I’m Hancock//
Or should I turn my life into a puppet show and control all these miserable socks!!/
So as I can reincarnate the Dead Poets Society and gain fame like I’m Ethan Hawke//
To see them scream my name out like “ Nameless Heller!!!” until they break their vocal chords//
And let me finally afford to drive a replica of my fathers red XLT ford//
Before I end this poem let me end my life by letting the blood flow out of my body by cutting my wrist using a samurai sword!/
Now my whole life is flashing before my eyes and I get to realise that religion is truly fabricated and that there is no Lord!!//………………………..