Impasse(Poem) By Nameless Heller

CLOSE your eyes so as you can vision the words that I’m trying to paint in your brain/
A young boy in his late teens who looks lame but has words that blow up a transducer like he regurgitates propane/
Put on your seatbelt as we enter the brain of an atheist as it is an impasse and you will see the reason why Christians say that I’m insane/
Born …and raised by a single mother I never had a father figure to teach me right and wrong and the direction to head to the perfect lane/
So I started to indite my work, putting all my asperity in my pad because I knew I would sound bad if I ever complained/
With some efforts failing, the struggle, the rage, pain and hate I felt towards my father for not raising me started to overload in my brain and I started to take life as some type of game/
Started doing all the bad things I could do to relieve and sustain the pain like drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and even Mary Jane/
The Herb mainly made the pain subliminal, so I started to use it more often with it damaging my brain cells making me lose control and even spend a week in Jail/
With my mom telling me that I have changed, I brought pain in her life without realizing it and I saw that I will never be the same but I will make her happy again/
The Self-proclaimed black sheep in the family began his path to turn the darkness he brought into his mother’s heart to light up like the moon/
His mother was the only thing that had been there for him always so he had to make her happy by any means necessary so he started going back to school/
A single semester into school and I started losing control again, but this time the grades were perfect I just lost my cool/
Alcohol, Cigarettes were the in thing in my life, all I did was reminisce about the what if’s like a fool/
Like What if my dad was in my life where would I be right now, what if the pain and heartache he has caused just disappeared /
I felt bad for my mother because I was turning into a replica of the one thing I hated and always wished he was dead/
With me nearly losing my life in a car accident I became an atheist because I lost my faith and saw how bogus religion is, and started to face my fears/
If there was a god, where was he when i struggled, felt pain and I could not express my sorrow, where was he when i slept in a pillow filled with tears?/
I’m Tired of putting it in the almighty great and for my sake, I am not going to worship an ignorant supernatural being starting today I Control my Fate/
As you can see I did not live a hard life, but I was an emotional kid and my father was the bait/”
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